So you have done all the math, created a dozen flow charts,
and used all the research based tips out there, and you still find, that to
minimize your life duties and all the work on your plate, you really just can’t
do it. Maybe you could, but then bills wouldn’t get paid, children will starve
or your life might be harder than it already is. The reality is, downsizing
your life isn’t realistic at this point in time. So, what is a person to do?
Here are the 3 B’s on how to Downsize, when you can’t
Downsize:
Boundaries
Set boundaries. Boundaries keep things as structured as
possible for you in a chaotic mess. If you have work today, the kid and dog are
both throwing up, you have a meeting after work and your roof is leaking, this
is not the time to add on drama from negative Nancy or to promise your neighbor
that you will watch his bird for the next week while he is on a cruise. I know
this scenario seems extreme, but the reality is, we do take on too much unnecessary
drama or tasks when we are already bogged down and just trying to tread water
in our own lives.
If you can’t downsize right now, it might not be the time in
your life that you can help out your neighbor and his bird, or give advice to
the office drama queen. Setting boundaries with these people will make you
stronger and more efficient so that you can downsize your own life in the
future and then go ahead and give back. It is okay if you are drowning to not
add more weight to your arms. And, saying no and setting boundaries doesn’t
mean that you are never going to help people. Let these people know that you
can help them but only at certain times. That is a boundary. So, if you
actually like talking to the office drama queen, set a boundary with her that
it is only on the drive home from work. If you feel guilty saying no to
caregiving for a parent, go ahead and help them, but perhaps do so only on
certain days or certain times. Setting boundaries creates structure, builds
confidence, and makes the chaos of not being able to downsize seem a bit more seamless.
Breaks
When you are rushing through your day, whether you are
changing hats multiple times or just stuck on one long, boring and tough
project, take breaks. By walking away from the chaos you give your mind a
moment to breathe.
You know that couple that fights all the time, but they
can’t see why, and you can see the problem clear as day? Well, you see the
problem clear as day because you are not stuck in that cycle of the same thing
each and every day. You are an outsider peering in. When you are stuck doing a
task or are stressed out from the hustle, take a step back and become an
outsider. Stop affiliating yourself with the chaos, even if just for 10 minutes,
and instead, play the role of the third party. Go for a walk, roam the bathroom
at work, or take a power nap.
Taking a step back from chaos for even just 10 minutes helps
you to change your perspective. This step away helps your mind to refocus and
attend to a task with a fresh lens. When you take breaks to refocus your
perspective, you are actually saving yourself time. Being overwhelmed leads
your mind and body toward a shut down. Being overwhelmed also adds extra
stress, and you quickly find yourself doing the same thing over and over again,
wrong. When you can’t downsize, you need all the time you can get- you don’t
have time to make repeated mistakes. Taking short breaks periodically actually
saves you time in the long run.
Boredom
Get bored. That’s right, be bored. Find time once time per
month to be bored. Perhaps on a Sunday that it is raining, you might find
yourself putzing around the house doing little chores, laying on the couch,
doing much of nothing. This is a good thing.
I do not think that every weekend you should be bored and
not go seize the day, but I also think that it is a good thing to be bored once
a month. Sometimes, hanging out on the weekends is tiring. Sure it is a blast,
but whether you are having a blast or having a tough day, you are expending
some amount of energy. When you are bored, and don’t give in to doing anything,
your body is storing up some energy. Energy is what you need when you can’t
downsize your life. When you give in to being bored, your mind and body are
ready to take on the tasks of life. Your mind is ready to focus and your body
is ready for the physical day to day hustle. In fact, your mind and body are,
in fact, bored, an actually want to do something. Even your mind and body need
vacation time from work and life.
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