More Relationships, More Success

 

There are many different things that fulfill people, but for many women, we have a deep need for belonging. When we are a part of something and doing well at it, we feel needed and thus satisfied. It may be why we push so hard to be accepted by people, even people we don’t care for. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “I don’t even like that person, why do I care so much if he likes me?” It’s this sense or deep desire to belong, be wanted or be liked.

I have noticed that women often come to me with a desire to have few friends, but those friends who they can have a strong and deep relationship with. This type of relationship allows for more intimacy and opening up. It becomes very emotional and trusting. Many times women can be “catty” or drama filled, so this desire for a few relationships, but very close, is natural and understandable.

 

On the other hand, I want you to see that habits are interconnected with our lives. Just as one sector in our lives overlaps with another, so do our habits and ways of thinking. In January, many of us set goals, some of which were regarding our success within our professional lives. My suggestion today is that we do not carry our desire to have only a few close relationships, into the business world.

Here is my reasoning:

In work, some women associate with a few close co-workers that they work with. This becomes their go to circle for questions, gossip, drama, and, did I already mention, gossip? The problem with this concept of having only a few close friends in the workplace is that the same coworkers can only provide you with so much. They tend to say the same things, they stir up the same negativity, they have listened to all your sob stories already, and, they can only offer so many opportunities to/for you.

By opening the door to having more “friends” at work, even if they are the furthest thing away from a real “friend,” you are opening your potential for more opportunities, ideas and potential for success. From just about everyone you work with, you could get something to help advance you. If you only associate with those who you can best emotionally bond to, then you have closed the door to so much more that could be offered to you professionally.

 

You will not advance or become more successful solely on your own. Even if you think you can, “do it alone,” you’re wrong, and that is why you might be feeling “stuck.” In order to attain a higher level of success, you need to build relationships- from the deepest to the most shallow (and shallow doesn’t mean low and rude, it just means basic, face value, etc.). Sometimes, relationships you have with people whom you have a very basic association with, might generate an idea that could lead to your success. They may also have the ability to introduce you to other people or divisions you do not normally interact with (once again offering you more opportunities).

 

This week’s challenge is to allow yourself to connect with more people than you normally would at work and see what other potential ideas or opportunities you could create for yourself in 2014. Keep the solely deep relationships to your personal life and add to your professional life by adding in some more casual and broad relationships.