Being Alone Versus Loneliness

Being Alone Versus Loneliness

 

When we are alone we may be perceived by others or ourselves as being depressed or uninteresting, we might simply just get bored, we may fear that we will somehow live a life of loneliness or we may discover some truths about ourselves that can be scary or hurtful. Initially, the sound of being “lonely” can be frightening. But just as in any situation, being lonely is a perception. The primary difference between being alone and being lonely is your attitude toward yourself.

 

Being alone is not bad, in fact it is a time to meditate, discover yourself and goals, and earn some self-respect. In this world of chaos and distractions we have got into a habit of not stopping, being busy and surrounding ourselves with things that are loud, disturbing and continuous. Being alone in the silence of your own home, going to a quiet safe space or simply laying in a hammock feeling the sun on your skin is actually one of the healthiest moments you can have with yourself.  When you are alone with yourself, you have been given an opportunity to focus on you and to talk nicely to yourself. Take time to reflect on your successes, your positive choices and all you are grateful for. In a moment of being alone you have an opportunity to treat yourself with respect, slow down, and shape your future.  

 

If you choose to take your time alone as an opportunity to feel lonely then you can expect to feel that way and to fear all the things that come along with that perception: lots if comparing, trying to keep up with the Jones’, feelings of emptiness, etc. ; all factors that play a role in decreased self-esteem and confidence. Your perception of the time you spend with yourself has a strong influence on how you will treat yourself when you do go back into the world of chaos and distractions. And, the way you treat yourself when you are both alone and in the day to day routine influences how other people will treat you in most capacities to begin with.  Our respect from others truly does start with the way that we treat ourselves, specifically the way we treat ourselves in the moments alone when we are not putting on a front for the world.

Remember, your perception of what occurs when you are alone with yourself is your choice and ultimately influences your self-esteem and level of respect your give yourself and that is given to you. 

 

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance." She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com