Monday, October 20, 2014

Getting From A Nobody to A Someday Takes Baby Steps


Getting From A Nobody to A Someday Takes Baby Steps
This week I wanted to share with you my ordinary journey because like most people, I am ordinary. I grew up in a situation where I wish it had been a lot better. But, I have decided to not let that define me.
I went to college and took out way too many student loans, and prayed that some type of loan forgiveness would happen. But, while lawmakers do their thing, I am paying on my loans.
I got married at 23 and pregnant at 23. I think I also bought a house and a car at this exact time- all of which I could not afford. I made a bunch of mistakes, but somehow made it out and learned a few things.
Later on, I decided that to avoid paying on my student loans I should just keep going to school and take out more student loans. To me, this somehow made sense. I graduated with my Doctorate and opened my own small practice.
For a while I worked 3 jobs at once, and figured that must be the perfect time to get pregnant with my second child. So, that’s what I did. Three jobs, four jobs, what’s really the difference?
I look back and see that I have always made it through. There were hard times, fun times, “I’m stupid why can’t I see it” times, and then times of success. But, truth be told, this is the story of all of us in some fashion. I am ordinary. Each experience was a step, in some form, toward the “me” today.
Growing up, not having it easy, made me see what I didn’t want, but it also made me taste what I wanted even more. During this time the motivation sector of my brain was brought to life and fueled with never ending power and momentum.
Going into debt, again and again, taught me that you have to honor the commitments you make and work to get yourself out of the trouble you create. You have to own up to your life choices, good and bad. This experience taught me to take responsibility and control for my life in all areas.
Getting married and having children matured me and showed me that there is more important things in life then stirring up drama, shopping, and being careless.
Working three jobs, being mom and having a bun in the oven all at once taught me how to organize, manage and balance.
But still, I am ordinary. I am not the first to do this.
One day, I became very overwhelmed and I broke down. So, I decided that in order to not be overwhelmed, I will add to my plate and write a book. Again, somehow this made sense to me at that time in my life.
I began writing a book. And with limited money, I copy and pasted the contents from a Word Document into a self-publish and uploaded to Amazon.
I threw a bullet into the world and wanted to see if anyone could hear it; preferably, ordinary people like me. I wasn’t trying to make money off this book; I genuinely wanted to help women who were overwhelmed. Us ordinary people need to stick together.
Then, the book started to do better than I thought.
One day I decided to push my “luck” (it wasn’t actually luck, I worked my ass off for all this) and reach out to a PR company for help promoting the book so that women all over could learn to balance better. I felt like I had a key to help empower women, and I wanted to share this concept so badly! The PR company told me I was a “Nobody” and that I would do them no good being a client of theirs and that they would not take me on.
Apparently, I had misunderstood what a PR company does. After a good long cry, and a few days later, I decided to call one more PR company for help. Before asking for help, I made it clear, from off the bat, that I was a “Nobody” and would be delighted if they took me on as a client. To my surprise they took me on as a client. I shouldn’t have been surprised, after all, I was paying them, but, nevertheless, I felt famous for 2 seconds.
Although this is a running joke now between the second PR company and myself, looking back they must have thought I was very bizarre by introducing myself as a Nobody before even telling them about what I was really trying to do. I can’t believe I let someone I didn’t know define me so quickly and that I actually accepted their “Nobody” title as a bad thing.
I started a book campaign through the PR company.  Thinking I would have to wait months for some far off blog site to take interest in my work, it was only days before Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Prevention and Maria Shriver reached out for me to write or them (among many others).
I was ordinary; this doesn’t happen to Nobody’s. And then I thought, yes it does, because it happened to me, an Ordinary Nobody.
After a great run with my PR company, EMSI, I took a break for a moment to have editors review my book and make it less “Word Document” and more “Barnes and Noble” looking. I was taking another small baby step. One I thought would lead to a dead end.
While waiting on book revisions, I got an email from the director of the Women’s division at Forbes to write for them. I actually researched the email because I knew that this was a scam. Forbes doesn’t want ordinary people. 
I was ordinary; this doesn’t happen to Nobody’s. And then I thought, yes it does, because it happened to me, an Ordinary Nobody.
Then, I got a call from the Chicago Tribune, my hometown, to do a piece with them on self-talk. They were also interviewing a neurologist for the same piece. A neurologist, The Chicago Tribune and Me? The Chicago Tribune does not want ordinary people.
I was ordinary; this doesn’t happen to Nobody’s. And then I thought, yes it does, because it happened to me, an Ordinary Nobody.
Each step, slow and steady I was getting my word out. I was helping others and growing myself. I was challenging my self-doubt and steadily increasing confidence in myself. These little steps, after a while, actually move me forward.
I used to compare who I was to others and instead of taking baby steps in my own direction to get somewhere, I invested all my energy into someone else’s journey or whining about not having a great journey like everyone else. But everyone else was ordinary, too. I was mistaken all along. They were all taking baby steps and doing Nobody things- which are actually Great things.
Often, all we see is the end of someone’s journey, or only their successes, we don’t see all their baby steps. This is why our path doesn’t always work out, because it is not our path or it is based on a false reality of what we think we see. Start shifting your energy into your journey only.
So, as the calls came in for articles, speaking engagements, TV and everything else a Nobody dreams of, this time, I noticed that I was focused on my path. My path is created by a bunch of baby steps that are created by me, for me.
Currently, when I go to make a forward move in life,  I look only at my path, and guess what? That’s exactly what I end up doing, moving forward.
On this ordinary journey, I am becoming my own somebody.
Over the past few months my book has been updated and is getting ready for a major debut. It was in Germany last week at The Frankfurt Book Fair- the world's largest trade fair for books. Today I got word that my book received the most requests to review books from foreign publishers. I couldn’t believe it.
I was ordinary; this doesn’t happen to Nobody’s. And then I thought, yes it does, because it happened to me, an Ordinary Nobody.
The point of today’s post is for you to start focusing only on your path. Your ordinary journey could become the most extraordinary thing for you. Don’t compare yourself to others because you will never fully appreciate your journey and become a “somebody” to you.
Am I Brangelina now? No, not even close. Can I suddenly buy that $4 million beach home? No, not even close. In fact, I am still paying on those damn student loans.
But, I am finally a Somebody, to me. I love every day I wake up and I can’t wait for the next. I focus on my path, and because of that, I have created my own joy and happiness. 
Baby steps get you somewhere. Every single step counts.
Cheers to the baby steps we take this afternoon, and the one tomorrow and the one later that day, and so on. Each of them counts.





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