5 Reasons Why Saying "No," Works
It isn’t always easy to say “No.” Whether fear, guilt,
or any other reason stops us, the reality is, the word “Yes” has this great way
of flying out of our trap with little thought behind it. Although we see women
as harboring guilt and fears about saying “No,” the truth is, both men and women
struggle to use this simple, but powerful, 2 letter word.
Here are 5 reasons why saying “No,” works:
1. You
get to focus on your current goals.
By saying “No” to additional roles and tasks you
allow yourself to focus on your current goals. Often, small tasks, given to us
by “Big” people, quickly turn into barriers toward our current goals and
consequently hinder our progress. For example, if a boss offers you a project
to take on and it does not offer much incentive for your position or could
hinder your progress toward other goals that he/she previously created with
you, you might want to decline the offer.
Instead of telling a boss “No, I can’t do this, I
don’t have time,” turn this moment into an opportunity for you. Schedule a
meeting with your boss and bring to their awareness what goals you are already striving
toward. During this meeting show them your current progress, how far you have
come and the importance of successfully completing the goals already in
progress.
Having too many goals and minimal attention provided
to each, you will find increase stress, less confidence and could quickly
burnout. As you complete your goals already in progress, you are going to feel
more empowered, self-confidence and excited for the next challenge.
Saying
“No” works because you can focus on your current goals.
2.
You maintain your credibility.
By taking on an opportunity that you don’t have time
for, you risk underperforming, thus hurting your reputation and credibility
with a superior, friend or loved one. You want to make sure that if you choose
to take on a task you are committed to excellence, whether it is in business or
your personal life. If you can’t commit to a top performance, saying “Yes” will
come around to hurt you in the end. Worse, sometimes saying “yes” hurts what
you have worked months or years for, like trust or status. Saying “yes” not
only jeopardizes your current goal progress, but also, if you perform poor on
the new task you could be seen as not competent in a certain area.
What can really hurt our credibility is when we say “yes”
to a task, and then back out later. You may get to a point in a project where
it becomes too much work and you can’t balance. When you say “yes” to
something, people are putting their trust in you. In this case, if you pull out
of the task, people may not see you as trustworthy and thus you lose
credibility. You may also risk losing future opportunities they could offer you.
Saying “No” works because you maintain your credibility.
3.
You
free up time for bigger opportunities.
Often people say “Yes” to taking on extra tasks because
they think they will not be offered more opportunities in the future. If you politely
and respectfully decline opportunities, those same people, in the future, will
offer you another opportunity. People like people that they can trust and
believe are honest about their commitments. Also, as you use your time to complete
current goals, you will find upon completion the next door opens. This door
will offer more opportunities and potentially even some more rewarding ones.
If you truly fear saying “No” because of the
potential loss of opportunity, then instead of putting opportunity off on
others, start creating it yourself. If you want more opportunities go find
them. You will find them all around you. You can’t simply say, “I wish I had
more opportunity” and then sit there and complain that you don’t.
You have to diligently work to make your mind see
more opportunities than problems in your life. Look at everything in your life as
having the potential to move you forward. Think about the situation above
regarding the employee who did not want to take on another task. She/He could
have complained but instead saw this as an opportunity to show their current
goals and successes.
Saying
“No” works because you free up time for bigger opportunities.
4. Saying
“No” shows self-discipline.
As we say “No” to taking on tasks that we can’t or shouldn’t
add to our plate, we are disciplining ourselves. Saying “No” teaches us to
avoid impulsivity in decision making and also to put our priorities in place. As
we say “No,” we are teaching our minds to think before we act. If we think getting
in over our heads with multiple tasks and projects can be overwhelming, think
about how saying “yes” to major purchases or life changing events could harmful
to your mental, physical and life state, even more so. Discipline yourself by
making a habit of thinking before you say “Yes.”
Saying
“No” works because it shows self-discipline.
5. Saying
“No” conveys the ability to set boundaries.
As you say “No,” you are also setting boundaries
with people who think they can walk all over you, take from you, or mistake
your kindness for you being a doormat. By freeing yourself from taking on everyone
else’s tasks, you are allowing yourself to advance your life and/or family. You
will also find more overall life fulfillment when you are pursuing and focusing
on your personal goals and desires.
Saying
“No” works because it conveys the ability to set boundaries.
Dr. Jaime Kulaga is the author of Type "Superwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance - A Self-Searching Book for Women". She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Self and Prevention magazines as well as the national show Daytime for her expertise in Work-Life Balance.
http://www.mindfulrehab.com
