Tools
To Make Your Self-Talk More Positive
Be
careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening. Lisa M Hayes
Who came with up with the slogan sticks and stones
may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? They must have been a tree.
Words hurt. In fact, sometimes words are more painful than sticks and stones. Words
become more painful than sticks and stones when the hurtful words about us,
come from us. Sticks and stones will break your bones, but negative self-talk
will destroy you. Below are the Top 3 Tools for better Self-Talk.
#1: Rid
of the “Have To,” “Must” and “Should” Talk.
Those things that “have to
get done” are part of a sabotaging mind habit we created for ourselves. The
reality is, a lot of what we do does not “have to” get done, or, if it does, it
doesn’t “have to” happen right then and there.
Using words like “have,” “must,” “should” and “ought” are words that
fill us with guilt and anxiety. Women despise feeling guilty, thus to avoid
feelings of guilt, we satisfy the “haves” in our lives before we satisfy
ourselves.
Women often do not deem
themselves as a “have” or “must” in their own lives, thus everything else is
worked on and fulfilled, except them. Despite popular belief, laundry does not
HAVE to get done on the weekends. Weekend is a compound word. Week-end. Your
week has ended. Use this time to walk away from the “should” and “haves” in
your life, and do the things that you really would like to do in Life, like all
those things you “missed out on” or “wished you could do.”
#2: Stop
Telling Yourself Everything Has to be Perfect.
Perfection is subjective.
That is why you should never try to be perfect for anyone or anything. If you
spend your life trying to be perfect for someone else, you may find you are
never perfect, for you.
Thinking that you have to be
perfect at anything in life is not only a barrier to your goals and Life
fulfillment, but you have directly set yourself up for failure. Don’t spend your
life trying to be something that doesn’t exist. By striving for perfection,
your mind and body will go one of two ways:
1.
Back down altogether. Your mind and body are
smart. If you set a goal for something that is not attainable (such as trying
to be perfect) why even try? Your mind and body won’t waste its time and energy
trying to strive for something that is unachievable. So, the mind finds excuses
and the body will support that.
2. You will
attempt your goals with perfection in mind, and then fail (because perfection
does not exist). This pattern of attempting and failing lowers our self-esteem
and sometimes our desire to set goals at all.
Instead of perfectionism, work toward
self-actualization. Self-actualization means to develop your full potential. You
are always in the mind-set of growing and developing yourself. It is through striving for self-actualization
that you will find Life, Mind and Body fulfillment.
#3: Recognize
Life is Not Only Black and White
I get it, you don’t have time. Neither do I. But the
reality is, we are both thinking in black and white right now. Working out
doesn’t mean 60 minutes or 0; all or nothing. Working out to a ten minute app
on your phone in the middle of the kitchen is still some form of exercise. It
counts.
We often get stuck on thinking and doing things the
same way for so long, that we forget there are so many other ways to make
decisions or succeed. If you think you exhausted every possibility, you’re
wrong. When you think differently, you open more doors for opportunity, doors
you can’t even fathom right now because you just don’t know they even exist.
Talk yourself out of the black and white, and into the shades of grey.
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