Dr. Kulaga's Blog: January 2015

Monday, January 26, 2015

Humble Leadership

Humble Leadership

There is nothing worse than a leader making people feel “below” him. Often the leaders who have the mentality of people being “below” him are the ones with their own demons to battle at night. In almost every business there is a hierarchy. That hierarchy demonstrates the structural position of how the company operates and communicates, but that hierarchy does not demonstrate who is a better or more valuable person in life. Often it is the people who are not laterally at the top of the hierarchy that truly make the company a success. These people believe in you, your systems and engage in the labor that allow you to work on the business each day. It is then most important that a leader understands his role is to motivate, inspire and be humble.

But what makes a leader humble? A humble leader recognizes that people work interconnectedly, from all levels of an organizational hierarchy to get a job completed and a business to run successfully. A humble leader believes that people other than himself have amazing ideas that should be valued and explored. And, with upmost significance, a humble leader consistently reminds himself of where he came from and acknowledges the people that have helped him along the way.

If you have moved up in life or business along your journey, there are good chances that at some point someone made you feel inferior to them. Take a moment and remember that feeling. That one feeling sometimes has the power to minimize a person’s confidence, increase his self-doubt, or stir up anger that they then bring into their homes where there are children and a partner. As you make others feel inferior, you are doing a direct injustice to yourself. You lose respect from people and you decrease productivity in your workplace.

Whether you find yourself religious, spiritual or neither, live out the passage in Proverbs 27:1 : “Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth. Let another praise you, and not your own mouth.” In order to be humble make sure that you are letting your team of life (family, friends, co-workers or employees) know what you are grateful for each day. Let people know why you appreciate them. At the end of each day personally reflect on the things that you were most grateful for. Be sure to give yourself credit for what you worked for, but also reflect on what people did to help you. This will keep your level of humility high.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Certified Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of the upcoming book "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance," to be published in March 2015. She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Monday, January 19, 2015

Is Your Ceiling too Low? Breaking Through the Invisible Barriers that Stop Our Success

Is Your Ceiling too Low? Breaking Through the Invisible Barriers that Stop Our Success

Walk into a house and notice regular height ceilings. Looks good at first but soon you notice there are some things that just won’t fit because the ceiling is too low. Walk into that same house with vaulted ceilings and the home looks bigger and more spacious. Now take yourself to the Vatican. Look up. How amazing. The ceilings are so far up and the scenery just got a lot more beautiful. Now look higher than the ceiling, your highest ceiling is the sky. The sky is endless and has so much beauty.

Where is your ceiling to life? Have you made invisible barriers that represent a ceiling? You can gauge your ceiling by measuring your self-doubt. If you don’t set goals because of fear of failure or a lack of self-confidence, you might have placed barriers into your life that represent a home with traditional ceilings. If this is the case, create a list of major lifetime successes and also very current successes (small or big). Come up with at least 10. You have ten. Review this list and note how you were able to overcome barriers and build up your confidence in the past in order to achieve. Now set goals that will push you to a “vaulted ceilings” level.

On the other hand you might have self-confidence and are able to push aside doubt at times. Your ceiling to life might be at a “vaulted ceilings level.” Your trouble might be that your dreams and goals are not big enough. You might notice that you tend to play life safe. Seth Godin, Author of the Purple Cow said that staying safe is what is risky in life. And, I believe this. By setting goals that are outside of your comfort zone, you challenge your confidence to grow. As you work toward growing outside of your safety net, your confidence grows and you will begin to live life more fulfilled and interesting because you are discovering new things. You will begin to notice new passions and deeper excitement. You are now in the Vatican.

If your dreams and goals are big, you have passion for just about each day of your life and you rarely lack confidence, your ceiling of life might be at a Vatican level. Your challenge here is to keep pushing yourself to be open to new experiences and opportunities. When a problem rears its ugly head, quickly turn it into an opportunity to grow and develop. But most importantly, if your ceiling to life is as tall as the Vatican you are challenged to now help others identify how tall their ceiling to life is and to encourage them to break those barriers. Share your goals, passions and stories to help others fight through fear and break the invisible barriers they have created. As you do this, you will become a person of influence. A person who achieves big and has the influence and desire to pull people up has created a ceiling to life of endless opportunity and fulfillment, the sky.

This week your challenge is to identify how high you have placed a ceiling over you and create a plan to raise the ceiling to the next level.

Monday, January 12, 2015

2015 Focus: Intrinsic Motivators

2015 Focus: Intrinsic Motivators

This is going to be a good year for a lot of people for a variety of reasons. This is the year to take the leap, push for that next step and live fulfilled. In life we are often motivated by intrinsic and extrinsic factors. Extrinsic factors are those that are more tangible, like money, stocks, health benefits and time off.

Intrinsic motivators are more feeling based. For example, that feeling you get when you know you really helped someone, just being excited to go to work, or feeling appreciated. In 2015 your challenge is to focus on the intrinsic motivators. Do things that make you feel excited, fulfilled and appreciated. Many people who chase the extrinsic motivators are happy on the forefront, but if you want sustained happiness and peace, first chase the intrinsic motivators and extrinsic rewards will follow without force.

When you cycle in life, you cycle the same things each day, might as well be passionate and excited to wake up each day as opposed to living for the dollar. This is not to say you should forget your responsibilities, but if you have to work, might as well work for what sparks enjoyment and happiness.

When you go to bed at night to rest from a day of work, but you are resting from work that was fulfilling, you get a different kind of rest compared to those who are trying to fall asleep and stay asleep as a method to avoid their day. Work you love and work you hate both take work, so make the leap into working for something that you believe in, something that motivates you and something that gives you intrinsic rewards.

In 2015 when you take the leap toward your goals, go all the way. Do not short cut the leap, do not find “alternate ways” to get to the end. Go all the way. Do it the right way. The right way is usually tougher. It involves more sacrifice, more money, more time, more energy, more of a mental fight initially, but if you don’t short cut your goal, you will end up with the entire goal achieved.

Taking a leap will require more confidence than you presently have and that requires hurdling fear. If you want to hurdle fear don’t think about it. The more time that passes you by the more your fears exacerbate. This is because you begin to ruminate and analyze your fears. You spend time on your fears and not your goals.

Problems will be present for your entire life, but they are not your entire life. Read that again. Problems will be present for your entire life, but they are not your entire life. Don’t dwell on problems as you take your leap, see problems as opportunities and be solution focused. You will hurdle your fears and pains much faster in 2015 if you don’t stop to dwell but you keep running toward solutions.

Goal attainment will build confidence and confidence provides more awareness into the opportunities around you. More opportunity and more confidence leads to more success more success brings extrinsic rewards.

In 2015 focus on intrinsic motivators.

Monday, January 5, 2015

How To Not Fall off the Resolution Band Wagon: Setting Yourself up for Success in 2015

Welcome to 2015! Today is the first full week back in high gear since the holidays. Many of us are gung-ho about 2015 and all our goals and resolutions. Sad reality is that by June at least 50% of us will have lost sight of those goals and steered off the resolution path.

These stats are not being provided to put a damper on your positive outlook, but instead give you some tips on how to keep your mind clear and stay on a strong path in 2015. This way, on June 1, instead of jumping off the band wagon with some others, you can stay on for the rest of the year.

Below are 3 quick tips to staying on track in 2015:

1. Set SMART Goals.

Smart goals are goals that are specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and time bound. Don’t just say “I want a promotion in 2015.” Instead, state what you want to be promoted to and by what month and year. For example, I want to be promoted to Director of XYZ by October 2015. Note that this time frame is also realistic. If you want to be promoted by March that might not give you enough time to actually deserve or achieve this position. Then, in March, when you don’t get promoted you may find yourself getting easily discouraged at work or that you have changed your positive attitude to become more negative. So, be realistic in your goal setting. And, as you set goals this year, also make sure that they are in line with your values, that you are not setting them based upon “keeping up with the Jones’s,” and, that they are goals YOU actually want to achieve, not what other people think you should push for.

2. Don’t Live in 2014.

This is the New Year. If you plan to live in the previous year, than don’t call it the New Year quite yet. By staying present and future focused, you focus on what you can control and create-unlike those of us who might be living in the past. Use the past as a learning experience, but not a place to dwell or ruminate on. Thinking about all the past woulda, coulda and shouldas will defeat the purpose of your New Year, and increase your stress in the present. Instead, channel your energy into moving you forward in 2015 instead of blasting you back into the past.

3. Be Open to New Experiences.

Want more opportunity in 2015? Want more happiness and fulfillment? Then take up new experiences. From small tasks, like trying new restaurants and new foods, to creating new projects in your personal or professional life, be open to new experiences. By taking up new experiences you just never know what passions, opportunities or happiness you will discover. As you take on new opportunities, acknowledge that you may feel some discomfort because you will be stepping outside of your comfort zone for some of these things. But, know that this discomfort is only temporary and by pushing beyond your typical zone you will find new results in this New Year.