Monday, December 8, 2014

Top 3 Reasons Why Some People Just “Have it Good”


 


Top 3 Reasons Why Some People Just “Have it Good

Have you ever met people whose lives seem to be awesome? Good things happen to them, one right after another. Their children are always doing well in school, their cars never break down, and they are promoted every year. If something does come up in their lives that constitutes a negative, it doesn’t seem to crush them.
 

In contrast, have you met people you almost always feel bad for? They just can’t seem to catch a break in their lives. Their child is always sick, they’re hitching rides to work because their car broke down again, and they never get the promotion they deserve. It’s one negative thing after another. They live their lives in crisis mode every day.
 

Here are the top 3 reasons why those who “Have it Good” actually “Have it Good”

 

1.      They don’t make decisions at low points in their lives.

The difference between the people who always seem to “have it good” and those who “can’t get a break” is that those who “have it good” make decisions at the high points in their lives. If you are in a depressed or angry state, are going through a divorce, are failing at something, or have recently lost a family member or your job, you are not ready to make a major life decision. When you are going through a major change or are at a low point in your life, there is probably a lot of emotion involved. When emotion becomes dominant in decision making, the decision is often not the right decision. It’s a decision made out of spite, revenge, anger, sadness, or desperation and not out of clear mindedness, analysis, or basic commonsense.

Plan: During the low points of your life, even if you caused them, reflect on the good decisions you have made overall in your life as well as in the recent months. To prepare for that, create a list of your successes when you are strong and on a good path. When you become vulnerable or tired, take out your list and reflect on your good choices. This reflection will boost your self-confidence in this low point and allow you some time to step back from the situation and make a more clear assessment as opposed to an impulsive decision. Remember, the process in decision making is retreat, rethink and then react.  

Also, before a negative situation occurs, be sure to create a list of strong and honest supports in your life. That way, if you have to make certain decisions relatively quickly, you have genuine people that you know you are safe to turn to for support or general direction.
 

 

2.      They have a positive attitude even in tough situations

Making one bad decision after another at the low points in our lives is the equivalent of never getting a break. On the other hand, those who come from a place of positive thinking and who make decisions at high points in their lives set themselves up for making a second positive decision and so on. The more clear-minded and positive your thought process is, the more options you’ll realize are available to you. And the more you live in crisis mode, the more you’ll narrow your vision. Why? Because when you’re in a situation that seems overwhelming with too much going on, your mind shuts down options to free up some space and energy.

Plan: You can turn around the habit of being in crisis mode and making decisions at low points by staying positive and taking time when making decisions. “Stay positive” is not just a cliché. When you engage in positive thinking and give your mind time to process a situation, you open yourself up to seeing the wider range of choices currently available to you.

 

3.      They spend their Energy dollars wisely

The brain, in a resting state, consumes approximately 20 percent of your body’s energy. Thus, even in a clear-minded state of rest, you are expending energy. When you are in crisis mode, you can expect to expend at least double or triple the amount of energy as when you are not in crisis mode. Reflect on what kind of thoughts and actions use up your energy every day. I tell my clients to think about it like this. You get 20 energy dollars per day. Use them wisely. If you only had 20 dollars to spend each day, you would focus on what counts and matters most to you and your family. Would you spend 5 of your 20 dollars buying someone else’s old shoes? No! So why would you want to spend your energy dollars on feeding into someone’s gossip, holding grudges, complaining about your boss, or worrying about things that don’t really matter.

Plan: Be cognizant of how much time each day you spend on negativity toward yourself or others. Take your energy and focus on how to create more opportunities in your life as opposed to dwelling and ruminating on what is not going right for you. Even bank some of your hard earned energy dollars by being more grateful for what you do already have. And remember, by banking some extra dollars, when a crisis does hit, you will have enough energy saved up to not let the situation defeat or crush you. Rather you can tend to the issue with much more positivity and clear-mindedness.  
 
 


Challenge:

This week I challenge you to select one of the three tips listed above and begin implementing it into your life.

 
Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Certified Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of the upcoming book "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance," to be published in March 2015. She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com
 

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