Top 3 Reasons Why Some People Just “Have it Good”
Have
you ever met people whose lives seem to be awesome? Good things happen to them,
one right after another. Their children are always doing well in school, their
cars never break down, and they are promoted every year. If something does come
up in their lives that constitutes a negative, it doesn’t seem to crush them.
In
contrast, have you met people you almost always feel bad for? They just can’t
seem to catch a break in their lives. Their child is always sick, they’re
hitching rides to work because their car broke down again, and they never get
the promotion they deserve. It’s one negative thing after another. They live
their lives in crisis mode every day.
Here
are the top 3 reasons why those who “Have it Good” actually “Have it Good”
1.
They
don’t make decisions at low points in their lives.
The difference
between the people who always seem to “have it good” and those who “can’t get a
break” is that those who “have it good” make decisions at the high points in
their lives. If you are in a depressed or angry state, are going through a
divorce, are failing at something, or have recently lost a family member or
your job, you are not ready to make a major life decision. When you are going
through a major change or are at a low point in your life, there is probably a
lot of emotion involved. When emotion becomes dominant in decision making, the
decision is often not the right decision. It’s a decision made out of spite,
revenge, anger, sadness, or desperation and not out of clear mindedness,
analysis, or basic commonsense.
Plan: During the
low points of your life, even if you caused them, reflect on the good decisions
you have made overall in your life as well as in the recent months. To prepare
for that, create a list of your successes when you are strong and on a good
path. When you become vulnerable or tired, take out your list and reflect on
your good choices. This reflection will boost your self-confidence in this low
point and allow you some time to step back from the situation and make a more
clear assessment as opposed to an impulsive decision. Remember, the process in
decision making is retreat, rethink and then react.
Also, before a negative
situation occurs, be sure to create a list of strong and honest supports in
your life. That way, if you have to make certain decisions relatively quickly,
you have genuine people that you know you are safe to turn to for support or
general direction.
2.
They
have a positive attitude even in tough situations
Making one bad
decision after another at the low points in our lives is the equivalent of
never getting a break. On the other hand, those who come from a place of
positive thinking and who make decisions at high points in their lives set
themselves up for making a second positive decision and so on. The more
clear-minded and positive your thought process is, the more options you’ll
realize are available to you. And the more you live in crisis mode, the more
you’ll narrow your vision. Why? Because when you’re in a situation that seems
overwhelming with too much going on, your mind shuts down options to free up
some space and energy.
Plan: You can turn around the habit of being in
crisis mode and making decisions at low points by staying positive and taking
time when making decisions. “Stay positive” is not just a cliché. When you
engage in positive thinking and give your mind time to process a situation, you
open yourself up to seeing the wider range of choices currently available to
you.
3.
They
spend their Energy dollars wisely
The brain, in a
resting state, consumes approximately 20 percent of your body’s energy. Thus,
even in a clear-minded state of rest, you are expending energy. When you are in
crisis mode, you can expect to expend at least double or triple the amount of
energy as when you are not in crisis mode. Reflect on what kind of thoughts and
actions use up your energy every day. I tell my clients to think about it like
this. You get 20 energy dollars per day. Use
them wisely. If you only had 20 dollars to spend each day, you would focus
on what counts and matters most to you and your family. Would you spend 5 of
your 20 dollars buying someone else’s old shoes? No! So why would you want to
spend your energy dollars on feeding into someone’s gossip, holding grudges,
complaining about your boss, or worrying about things that don’t really matter.
Plan: Be
cognizant of how much time each day you spend on negativity toward yourself or
others. Take your energy and focus on how to create more opportunities in your
life as opposed to dwelling and ruminating on what is not going right for you.
Even bank some of your hard earned energy dollars by being more grateful for
what you do already have. And remember, by banking some extra dollars, when a
crisis does hit, you will have enough energy saved up to not let the situation
defeat or crush you. Rather you can tend to the issue with much more positivity
and clear-mindedness.
Challenge:
This week I challenge you to select one of the three
tips listed above and begin implementing it into your life.
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