The Skewed Meaning of Christmas: Has it Got You Down?

The Skewed Meaning of Christmas: Has it Got You Down?

 

You hear it every day this holiday season, “Don’t forget the true meaning.” I must say, in reference to Christmas, I do think many of us have forgotten the meaning. The media and retailers have such an influence over our society and consequently they have changed some of the meaning; even if we don’t agree with it.

We all know what Christmas really “means” but we still feel guilty for not buying our long lost Uncle Stanley a gift and spending $100 on Christmas Cards to send to people we haven’t talked to in 365 days and probably won’t talk to again for another 365 days. Many of us diminish our guilt by purchasing way too much for family, friends and coworkers only to find that we somehow ended up hurting ourselves, our bank account and our immediate family. It is not that we hate Christmas, rather the real meaning has somewhat changed and we have become a Grinch to this “skewed meaning” of Christmas. 

This holiday season, I have counseled and talked to several people that can’t wait for the season to be over. They want Jan 1 to come as quickly as possible. The season doesn’t only have a somewhat skewed meaning, but it is to the point where many people are dreading it altogether. Not good.  

So, if you are the person who is dreading the rest of the month because the meaning has been altered, here is how you can put a smile back on your face and enjoy the last 2.5 weeks:

1.       Go find your meaning!

Stop saying “the meaning is lost” and start changing the meaning back for you. If you feel that the new meaning has somehow crept into your life, get the old meaning back by reading the Bible, going to Church, relaxing alone or with family, helping out at a local community center, serve food, make something and deliver it to a neighbor; whatever will put peace and spirit back into your heart, do that. What does “the meaning” mean to you? Go do that.

2.       Don’t buy anything else.

 

Instead of giving in to the skewed meaning and buying more and more for the next 2 weeks, stop shopping for others and give only what you can or you feel is appropriate based on your meaning. Do not feel guilty for not running yourself dry financially or emotionally. Plus, the more you buy this year you may feel that you have to top yourself next year.

 

3.       Make amends.

One thing my papa always told me before he passed, “amends, amends.” For us, this meant, just forgive and move on. In the next two weeks, make amends. If you have any anger or haven’t spoken to someone that you care about and would like to have a relationship with again, bite your tongue and make amends. Being distant from those you love in any capacity can make you distant from the holiday spirit, too. By being closer with family during the time of the season where the true meaning was a lot about spending time with family, you may find the spirit a bit back in your heart.  

4.       Eat well.

These next few weeks don’t give in to all the cakes, pies and alcohol at work, holiday parties or events. Processed foods, junk foods and alcohol all contribute to a drop in your mood. Instead, eat healthy so that your serotonin is flowing and your mood is up.

5.       Exercise.

For the next 2.5 weeks don’t let the blue feeling you have regarding the lost meaning be the excuse as to why you cannot work out. Get up and get out. You need all the endorphins you can get to put you into a positive mood right now. Plus, the better you feel about yourself the more confident you are in your choices, your beliefs and your values. Three aspects to your life that will help you stick to your personal meaning of Christmas.

 

 

This week’s challenge: If the skewed meaning of Christmas has got you down, select two tips off the list above and implement them for the next 2.5 weeks. Try to relocate your meaning of Christmas and/or bring up your mood so you can enjoy the rest of the season.  

 

 Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Certified Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of the upcoming book "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance," to be published in March 2015. She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

 

 

Top 3 Reasons Why Some People Just “Have it Good”

 

Top 3 Reasons Why Some People Just “Have it Good”

Have you ever met people whose lives seem to be awesome? Good things happen to them, one right after another. Their children are always doing well in school, their cars never break down, and they are promoted every year. If something does come up in their lives that constitutes a negative, it doesn’t seem to crush them.

 

In contrast, have you met people you almost always feel bad for? They just can’t seem to catch a break in their lives. Their child is always sick, they’re hitching rides to work because their car broke down again, and they never get the promotion they deserve. It’s one negative thing after another. They live their lives in crisis mode every day.

 

Here are the top 3 reasons why those who “Have it Good” actually “Have it Good”

 

1.      They don’t make decisions at low points in their lives.

The difference between the people who always seem to “have it good” and those who “can’t get a break” is that those who “have it good” make decisions at the high points in their lives. If you are in a depressed or angry state, are going through a divorce, are failing at something, or have recently lost a family member or your job, you are not ready to make a major life decision. When you are going through a major change or are at a low point in your life, there is probably a lot of emotion involved. When emotion becomes dominant in decision making, the decision is often not the right decision. It’s a decision made out of spite, revenge, anger, sadness, or desperation and not out of clear mindedness, analysis, or basic commonsense.

Plan: During the low points of your life, even if you caused them, reflect on the good decisions you have made overall in your life as well as in the recent months. To prepare for that, create a list of your successes when you are strong and on a good path. When you become vulnerable or tired, take out your list and reflect on your good choices. This reflection will boost your self-confidence in this low point and allow you some time to step back from the situation and make a more clear assessment as opposed to an impulsive decision. Remember, the process in decision making is retreat, rethink and then react.  

Also, before a negative situation occurs, be sure to create a list of strong and honest supports in your life. That way, if you have to make certain decisions relatively quickly, you have genuine people that you know you are safe to turn to for support or general direction.

 

 

2.      They have a positive attitude even in tough situations

Making one bad decision after another at the low points in our lives is the equivalent of never getting a break. On the other hand, those who come from a place of positive thinking and who make decisions at high points in their lives set themselves up for making a second positive decision and so on. The more clear-minded and positive your thought process is, the more options you’ll realize are available to you. And the more you live in crisis mode, the more you’ll narrow your vision. Why? Because when you’re in a situation that seems overwhelming with too much going on, your mind shuts down options to free up some space and energy.

Plan: You can turn around the habit of being in crisis mode and making decisions at low points by staying positive and taking time when making decisions. “Stay positive” is not just a cliché. When you engage in positive thinking and give your mind time to process a situation, you open yourself up to seeing the wider range of choices currently available to you.

 

3.      They spend their Energy dollars wisely

The brain, in a resting state, consumes approximately 20 percent of your body’s energy. Thus, even in a clear-minded state of rest, you are expending energy. When you are in crisis mode, you can expect to expend at least double or triple the amount of energy as when you are not in crisis mode. Reflect on what kind of thoughts and actions use up your energy every day. I tell my clients to think about it like this. You get 20 energy dollars per day. Use them wisely. If you only had 20 dollars to spend each day, you would focus on what counts and matters most to you and your family. Would you spend 5 of your 20 dollars buying someone else’s old shoes? No! So why would you want to spend your energy dollars on feeding into someone’s gossip, holding grudges, complaining about your boss, or worrying about things that don’t really matter.

Plan: Be cognizant of how much time each day you spend on negativity toward yourself or others. Take your energy and focus on how to create more opportunities in your life as opposed to dwelling and ruminating on what is not going right for you. Even bank some of your hard earned energy dollars by being more grateful for what you do already have. And remember, by banking some extra dollars, when a crisis does hit, you will have enough energy saved up to not let the situation defeat or crush you. Rather you can tend to the issue with much more positivity and clear-mindedness.  

 

 

Challenge:

This week I challenge you to select one of the three tips listed above and begin implementing it into your life.

 

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Certified Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of the upcoming book "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance," to be published in March 2015. She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

 

More, More, MORE!: Fighting Comfort and Hurdling the Plateau

More, More, MORE!: Fighting Comfort and Hurdling the Plateau

As we set goals and achieve them, there is such an importance of enjoying the fruits that you worked so hard for. Instead of immediately chasing the next goal and never being satisfied with what you have, perhaps you have learned to stop for a moment and be thankful for all you have achieved and earned. As much as I preach this concept of working and then stopping to enjoy, there is also another extreme; the extreme of setting goals, achieving and stopping to enjoy and never starting again.

Yes, you should stop to enjoy what you earned, but don’t retreat altogether from setting more goals and moving up toward more life fulfillment. If you moved up in life and loved it, imagine if you moved up again. The reality is people get very comfortable in their lives. Once comfort sets in, the mind tricks us into thinking that we are alright. That we have made it or that we are done. The truth is, to find even more fulfillment, even more happiness you have to break out of your comfort zone and push yourself a little more.

 

If you have a dream, go for it. Baby steps each and every day will lead you toward that goal. Once we get comfortable with our lives our fulfillment stays stagnant and will eventually dry up. If you are getting comfortable with your life, you are about to hit a plateau. If you are comfortable in your life, you have hit the plateau. Keep your life passionate. Passion comes from opening your mind to new aspects in life.

In order to open your mind up to new aspects in life you have to realize that you are much more capable than you ever thought. Push yourself to the next level. If you don’t think you can reach a goal, I challenge you to write out the goal and all the baby steps it will take to get there; each individual baby step. This month start with baby step 1. Taking one small baby step toward this particular goal of yours is more than you have ever done. Fight the desire to stay comfortable and stagnant and go one more step.  

 

In your business, push for more. You might not be staffed, but push for more clients. Once you get the clients you will hire more, do more, and make more. In your business, market more. Don’t find excuses as to why you can’t market more, just do it. Your business will thrive. In your business, follow-up more, set more expectations, believe that your business can get to the next level. Push through this plateau to the next level by saying “More, More, More.”

 

In your personal life, push for more. You might think you can’t take a leap toward a lifelong goal, take it anyway. Once you make the leap you will do everything in your power to make it work if it was truly something you wanted. In your life, market yourself more. Don’t find excuses as to why you are not a good fit for something or why you can’t take control of a certain aspect to your life, just do it. Put yourself out there. You will thrive as a person when you do things that you thought you did not have the ability to do. Confidence will soar and your belief in who you really are will increase your self-worth. In your personal life, follow up more. Write down why you started projects and goals and when you find yourself discouraged, follow up and read what you wrote about why you began. Reach out to supports and ask for encouragement. If you have delegated out tasks in your life, follow up to make sure that others are staying on top of the assignments you gave them so that you know the progress of your goals. Push through this plateau to the next level by saying “More, More, More.”

This week’s challenge: What is one aspect to your personal and one aspect to your professional life in which you can bring things to the next level?

 

 

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Certified Life Coach, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of the upcoming book "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance," to be published in March 2015. She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com