Authenticity, Core Values and Balance

Authenticity, Core Values and Balance

Authentic means to be real.  The more authentic you are with yourself, the more fulfillment you feel in life. Not being true to yourself or others keeps you at a consistent imbalance. Living a lie takes energy, time and emotion. In the case where you are not being authentic to yourself, you may find that you are taking on too many life roles and acting like you can manage them. You may be pushing down pain but fronting a smile every day. You may engage in activities that you don’t like in order to gain acceptance or likability. You may be hiding issues regarding hurt, money or love with a partner. 

Living untruthfully to your values or beliefs systems will put the mind and body out of balance. The mind knows what is right, but the body is not acting accordingly.

In the healing and balancing process, authenticity is most important. To gain more self-awareness, you have to know the real you. You have to be open to identifying your faults and what you want to improve on. You have to identify your biases, your grudges and weak spots. The more you are in tune with your core values and imperfections, the more you can identify what is off and how you can get back into balance.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you identify values and note imbalances. Be sure to be authentic as you answer the following:

1.       What are my top 5 core values?

2.       What am I doing in life that I am not happy with? Why?

3.       How do the activities that I am doing in life that I am not happy with out of line with my core values?

4.       How can I stop engaging in these activities or how can I make them in line with my values?

5.       What areas of my life am I living most authentically?

6.       Do I hold grudges?

7.       Can I be vengeful?

8.       To whom can I give more support to?

9.       When do I tend to give up my control? 

10.   What do I try to control that I can’t? How/When can I stop?

This week’s challenge is to answer the above questions. Be authentic and real about your responses so you can see exactly where you are not in line with your core values. As you identify your deficits note the direction you want to start moving in. Then, begin creating a plan to get back in line with your values.    

Dr. Jaime Kulaga understands the complexities of women’s lives and helps to increase their self-awareness and self-esteem. She is the advocate of the under-appreciated, over-worked and un-fulfilled woman, dedicated to greatly improving and creating a gratifying, enjoyable life... rather than an unfulfilling existence. As the Author and Founder of the SuperWoman’s Guide to Fulfillment, Dr. Jaime has taught and worked with hundreds of women empowering them to discover their own greatness, and in turn, create a loving and gratifying environment for all those in their lives. 

Through teaching at the University level, coaching and counseling individuals, couples, and businesses, she educates women, men and families to make better lifestyle decisions, steer the course of their lives, and use practical tools for deeper fulfillment and happiness.Dr. Jaime is a frequent mental health expert on TV and radio and has been featured on Forbes.com, on Maria Shriver's blog, and in Glamour, Self, and Prevention magazines for her expertise in work-life balance and life fulfillment. 

  

MARCH HAPPINESS

MARCH HAPPINESS

There is all this hype about March MADness in the month of, well, March. If you are not familiar with March Madness, it is the College Basketball Association’s tournament of 68 teams competing for a national championship. Sixty eight teams competing against each other, 1 month, and 12,000 games, well, that’s what it feels like if you are the wife of someone who watches the NCAA during this part of the season. It’s sheer, MADness.

However, the 68 teams are all competing for one thing, that feel good moment that they worked so hard for. They spent so much time dedicating a portion of their lives to training their bodies and minds. Physically and mentally they have prepared for this competition and when the final two teams compete, and one wins, fulfillment and happiness takes over for one person, one team and thousands of fans.

This March, you are competing against yourself. You are going to train your mind and body to be healthier and happier than ever before. At this point in the game, odds might be against you. About 40% of people who set New Year’s Resolutions have already quit trying. But this month, you are powering up not gearing down.

Training your mind and body to remain positive even when you feel up against stress, sadness and the cyclicality of life is tough. We have to create a habit of happiness.

Here are your TOP 3 Tips on how to be Happy in March, and all year long: 

1.   Smile and Wave Goodbye to the Toxic People:

Waving goodbye has never made you smile so big. In a world where we face uncontrollable stressors and negativity everyday no matter how happy of a person you are, you must rid of the things or people that are only going to bring you further down. Rid of the toxic people in your life. These are the haters and the hurters. Take control of your happiness by not allowing others to steer your emotions up and down, or steal them altogether. If you can’t completely rid of the negative people, you can definitely set boundaries to minimize your interactions with them. Saying GoodBye means Hello to Happiness.

2.   Take Time to Decide:

The best way to be unhappy is to go around making promises or commitments you can’t live up to, or, if you do live up to them, you dread every moment of it. You get one life, make it a happy one. Don’t over commit to someone else and then under commit to yourself. Your happiness is just as important as everyone else’s, and don’t think otherwise.

When you make an impulsive decision, it is typically based out of intense emotions or with little thought. In most cases, quick decisions are not only poor decisions, but they reduce your control, and even ruin your credibility. 

To create happiness, make a habit of taking time when making both large and small decisions. “Retreat, Rethink, React.” These are your new steps in decision making, in that order.

3.   Forgive

When you hold grudges, possess anger or find yourself always looking backwards, it is hard to move forward. The great thing about forgiveness is you don’t have to feel it, you just do it. And, you are doing it for you, not the other person. If you are angry with someone, your attention and energy is given to them, not you. You can’t control your past, and that can be upsetting sometimes. But you can control your future, and you can drive right up to happiness.    

As you compete against yourself in March, you must dedicate a portion of your life to training your body and mind. This takes time and commitment. Remember that you are competing for one thing, that feel good moment when you notice more days than not, seem brighter. When you notice the win, it not only lies in you, but your family (team) and all those who you interact with (fans) .

This March, turn your Madness into Happiness.  

Dr. Jaime Kulaga understands the complexities of women’s lives and helps to increase their self-awareness and self-esteem. She is the advocate of the under-appreciated, over-worked and un-fulfilled woman, dedicated to greatly improving and creating a gratifying, enjoyable life... rather than an unfulfilling existence. As the Author and Founder of the SuperWoman’s Guide to Fulfillment, Dr. Jaime has taught and worked with hundreds of women empowering them to discover their own greatness, and in turn, create a loving and gratifying environment for all those in their lives. 

Through teaching at the University level, coaching and counseling individuals, couples, and businesses, she educates women, men and families to make better lifestyle decisions, steer the course of their lives, and use practical tools for deeper fulfillment and happiness.Dr. Jaime is a frequent mental health expert on TV and radio and has been featured on Forbes.com, on Maria Shriver's blog, and in Glamour, Self, and Prevention magazines for her expertise in work-life balance and life fulfillment.