Dr. Kulaga's Blog: April 2015

Monday, April 13, 2015

How to Improve Willpower

How to Improve Willpower

Willpower is the ability to control yourself. Willpower is a certain level of inner strength. It can be associated with determination or even motivation. Willpower is what you use when you want to go out with friends but don’t so that you can study. Willpower is what you use when you choose not to pick up a cigarette when you are trying to stop smoking. Willpower is how much power you have over yourself. Take a moment to reflect on what aspects of your life you maintain strong willpower in. Now, take a moment to reflect on aspects of your life in which you have limited willpower. Why do you think that is? What about this area of your life are you not as strong, determined, motivated or in control? Here are a few ways that you can begin to increase your willpower in those areas.

3 ways to Improve your Willpower

Take personal responsibility.

By placing ownership for things we are not coming through on, off on something or someone else, we give the control over our decisions where it should not be going. Willpower requires control of yourself, if you are handing it over to another person or thing, you will never have enough willpower to change or complete what you are trying to do.

Tip: Begin increasing willpower by taking full responsibility for decisions and actions that you take. In return you will see both your willpower and discipline rise.

Watch your Self Talk

By watching how you talk to yourself as you make decisions you are reinforcing your personal responsibility and freedom as a person. But just as important, the way you talk to yourself has an influence over your confidence and inner strength. When you lack confidence and inner strength, you will notice that your willpower goes down. If you are consistently talking down to yourself, you decrease the level of key factors that can boost your willpower. The stronger you feel about yourself, the more inner strength you will have to make decisions that are in your best interest.

Tip: Increase willpower by talking kindly to yourself.

Define your Purpose

In business you have to have a 3 and 5 year plan. Why? Because it gives you and those around you a direction and a vision. You must have a purpose in each choice that you make for your company so that it moves in the direction of your goals. You need this same plan in life. Create weekly, monthly and yearly goals or plans for yourself, and put them in a place where you can see these goals each day. Then, each time you make a choice, be sure that it is in line with your purpose and direction. If you know why you are here in this world and if you understand where you desire to go, then your willpower and control over your choices will be stronger.

Tip: Take time to reflect on your purpose in life. Create goals and plans for your future and take these into account with each decision you make.

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Motivational Speaker. She is the author of "The SuperWoman's Guide to Super Fulfillment: Step-by-Step Strategies to Create Work-Life Balance." She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured internationally for her expertise in Work-Life Balance. http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Monday, April 6, 2015

Going Beyond the Minimum Due

Going Beyond the Minimum Due

So often in life we find ourselves “just getting by.” The mere fact that we survived the day checking off our to-do list makes us feel accomplished. But at the same time when we only doing what is expected of us or what is on the daily to-do list, we find ourselves living life very cyclically. We don’t give ourselves new “to-do’s” because we are so busy with the regular “to-do’s” and thus we deter ourselves from other opportunities that could boost our confidence or create even more happiness for us.

When we just do enough to “get by” we are cheating ourselves.

Take for example a student in school. The assignment calls for a 3 page paper on some topic in psychology. She completes the assignment at 9pm the night before it is due. She gets it done. She feels she “got over on this one.” Or, the co-worker who does his job duties, but never is willing to take on an extra project because it isn’t something he “has” to do.

Both these scenarios have one thing in common. A person who is getting done what is “expected” of them and has a reason why they can’t or won’t go above that ceiling. An expectation provides a minimum due, if you will. But, doing what is expected doesn’t always lead to fulfillment and happiness. So, while you feel you may have “one upped” the professor or the boss, you actually cheated yourself.

While the girl in school did get her assignment done on time, she waited until the last minute and thus doesn’t have time to read additional research that could steer her future career field into something even more exciting that she had never heard about. Going beyond in her assignments may help her to achieve a higher honor roll and consequently get scholarships or peak the interest of her professor in offering her a study aboard opportunity that could lead her to more doors once she graduates.

The co-worker who does what he is supposed to and never puts himself in a position where he can head up a group project and show his leadership skills is also cheating himself at times. By showing off his leadership skills he might find that he boosts his own confidence which in turn helps him grow in other areas of his life. Going above what is expected of him might peak the interest of a boss who offers him a raise or promotional opportunity that trickles into his family life in a positive way.

The reality is, doing what is expected will get you by.

But if you want more than a cyclical life, more than someone who checks off the same to-do’s and “gets by” you have to do more than the bare minimum. Whoever you aspire to be someday will require you to go beyond the minimum due.