How Strong Are You?

How Strong Are You?

 

Strength gets you through life. Think about all the strength it takes to get through one day: The strength to get going. The strength to keep going. The strength to not give up. The strength it takes to walk away. The strength it takes to march on. The strength it takes to think of solutions. The strength it takes to make things you created, last. The strength it takes physically to be active during the day.   

Whether strength is physical or mental, it takes strength to wake up, go to bed and everything else in between the day. Today you are going to rate some of your strengths and emotions in your life:

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your physical strength

1 (no strength) 2              3             4             5             6             7             8             9             10 (very strong)

 

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your mental strength

1 (no strength) 2              3             4             5             6             7             8             9             10 (very strong)

 

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate the intensity of your fears

1 (no fears)         2              3             4             5             6             7             8             9             10 (lots of fears)

 

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your anxieties

1 (no anxiety)    2              3             4             5             6             7             8             9             10 (lot of anxiety)

 

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your sadness

1 (no sadness)   2              3             4             5             6             7             8             9             10 (very sad)

 

On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your anger

1 (no anger)       2              3             4             5             6             7             8             9             10 (very angry)

 

Now that you have rated some strengths and emotions, I want you to reflect on your scores. To be fearful, anxious, sad, or angry, it takes strength. But it also takes strength to do everything else that you want to do during the day.

 

 

Being fearful, anxious, sad, or angry depletes your strength and energy that you could be using for other aspects of your life. Perhaps if you were not using your strength on being fearful, you would have channeled your strength into focusing on creating more confidence and taken up that job opportunity. Perhaps if you were not so angry at your partner and focused your strength on forgiveness, you could have enjoyed your weekend and went into this week feeling refreshed. Perhaps if you were not so anxious about various issues, then you would be more focused on tasks at hand or enjoy more in the moment experiences with those you love.

Fear, anxiety, sadness and anger take up so much of our day and also take control away from us. Each morning you get up pretend there are 20 energy dollars sitting next to you. Pick up the stack of singles and begin to hand them off to tasks that you encounter during the day that take strength. If you want to have energy at the end of the day, it is best not to start your day off fearful, angry, anxious or sad as you will be depleting your energy dollars before the day even begins. Just as you are conscious on how you spend your money, be conscious on how you spend your strength and energy.

 

The more you find ways to reduce your fears, anxieties, sadness, or anger, the more your strength, both physically and mentally, will go up. And remember, emotions are contagious. So, if you go into work with a negative attitude, those around you will “catch” the attitude and continue your attitude in a fearful, anxious, sad, or angry manner. And, I suggest that if you know someone who is fearful, anxious, sad, or angry, avoid spending a lot of time with that person because you will quickly catch their “virus.”

Tip: Your physical PLUS mental strength need to be stronger than the sum of your scores between anger, sadness, anxiety and fears. If the total of your emotions are higher than your mental and physical strength combine, we need to find ways to minimize your scores in fearful, anxious, sad, or angry sectors.

This week’s challenge is to identify two ways to minimize either your fears, anxieties, sadness and/or anger and two ways to increase your mental and physical strength.

 

 

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is the author of Type "Superwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance - A Self-Searching Book for Women". She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Self and Prevention magazines as well as the national show Daytime for her expertise in Work-Life Balance.
http://www.mindfulrehab.com

Depression- What is it? How is it different from being Sad, and Why doesn’t everyone reach out?

 

Depression- What is it? How is it different from being Sad, and Why doesn’t everyone reach out?

Depression can sneak up on you. It’s this bout of sadness that just spirals out of control and begins to consume your day, week and then month. I have talked to people that are depressed, sad and some that just don’t get it. It’s okay if you don’t understand depression. However, one thing that is really important for those who have not been diagnosed with depression to know, is that you should never criticize those who do have it. I know it can be very hard to not understand why someone can’t snap out of depression and “just be happy,” but the reality is, they can’t.

Take a moment to think about what it is like to be a gold miner. That’s right. Tell me everything there is to know about mining gold. Tell me the smells, the touches and all the special terminology and tools that they use. You say you can’t? That is because you are not a gold miner. Same goes for depression, if you have not walked in the shoes of a person with depression, then you won’t understand all the in’s and out’s of what this illness really can do.

The best thing that our society can do is educate ourselves so that we can help those who have been diagnosed with depression.

1.       What is depression?

Depression is a clinical diagnosis that is characterized by symptoms of feeling hopeless and notable changes in eating and sleep patterns. In addition, you will notice that a person is withdrawing from activities that they once enjoyed and that the feelings of sadness are going beyond two weeks and encompass most days of the week. It is important to note that men and women display different symptoms when it comes to depression. Whereas women tend to follow the above symptoms a bit more closely, men tend to display more anger, aggressive behaviors and/or being withdrawn.

 

 

2.       How is depression different from sadness?

People who are sad tend to bounce back from events that made them sad, relatively easily. Things happen each and every day to us that make us sad, but we are still going to that football game tonight or hanging out with friends this weekend. When you are depressed you are not going to do those things. You not only don’t have the energy to bounce back, but you also begin to avoid those activities altogether.

People who are depressed also tend to think in black and white. Black and white thinking is the all or nothing thinking, this or that. This type of thinking is very extreme- at one end of the spectrum or the other-no in between. Thinking in black and white steers the mind away from the shades of grey. It is in the grey areas of thinking that opportunity and variety lie. If you can’t see opportunity or variety in your life, that is when a sense of hopelessness begins to sneak up.

 

3.       Why won’t someone just reach out for help if they are really that “sad”?

It can be hard to understand why some people don’t reach out for help, but the reality is, there are many reasons why people choose not to. For one, the field of counseling and psychology has had a negative connotation associated with it for years.  People hide or even deny that they are seeing a therapist, or what some people call a “shrink” (part of the negativity associated with therapy). Also our society deems that men should be strong enough to “deal with it.” Women don’t want to burden people by taking time for themselves and their healing so they often avoid counseling. And, some cultures also view talking to people outside of the family as being negative.

 

4.       So what are some treatments?

 First and foremost, prevention. Teach little boys and girls that it is okay to cry. Cry it out. Teach them who they can cry to and who they can talk to. Children don’t have to be strong at age 5. Let them cry. Adolescents and adults should look into finding a life coach. Although life coaching is very motivating and goal focused, if bouts of sadness come into your life, you and your coach can catch them quickly and work through them. This helps to avoid “slipping” into a depression.

For those people that have already been diagnosed with depression, there are many options available for you. Medication is a choice and that is something that should be between you and your MD. Be sure to ask questions about the pros and cons of medication. Speak up to your doctor about everything that concerns you before starting medications.

Aside from medication, exercise helps with depression. The release of endorphins boosts your mood. Nutrition also impacts your mood. Ninety percent of serotonin is made in your gut. If you are eating junk and processed foods, the serotonin has a harder time distributing through your body. Serotonin is the chemical that makes us happy. Also, be creative. You would be amazed at what painting, journaling and music can do for the soul and your mood.

 

Your challenge this week:

If you have a loved one who is depressed- take a different approach (using something you learned in the above article) to help them through the week.

If you have been diagnosed with depression- Use at least one of the treatments options listed above for one full week.

 Dr. Jaime Kulaga is the author of Type "Superwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance - A Self-Searching Book for Women". She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Self and Prevention magazines as well as the national show Daytime for her expertise in Work-Life Balance.
http://www.mindfulrehab.com

 

Past, Present or Future: Where Should I Focus my Attention?

Past, Present or Future: Where Should I Focus my Attention?

 

Past

Should you really focus on the past? Hasn’t the thought always been to look forward and not at all the negativity behind you? The past is where pain, grudges and anger dwell. However, the past also holds successes and failures, both of which constitute as learning lessons for the present.

If you were just handed a project at work, and are not sure how to tackle it, look at the past. Reflect on times when you succeeded or failed on projects, and figure out why. Play off your strengths and avoid barriers that you might have encountered in the past to help you in the now. The goal here is to use the past as a tool for helping you be more productive and successful in the present and future.

In your personal life, if you are dating, look at past partners and some of the red flags that may have caused a relationship to go sour. While selecting partners in the present, be sure to avoid those red flags to help make the new relationship more beneficial.

 

Future

Focusing on the future is a good thing. When you have a vision, you have a strong outlook on life for both the future and the present. A vision will motivate you and your family or business forward. I agree, you should plan for the fact that you might be here tomorrow, next month, next year, and hopefully decades to come.

But, thinking too much about the future can also lead to burnout. When you focus too much in the future, you forget to celebrate your achievements today. You might begin to notice that you are skipping out on opportunities with friends and family in the present. Life is a lot of work, but it is also a lot of enjoyment.

By living primarily in the future, you will find that you are always working and not living.  Be sure to watch your children grow, feel your partner’s touch and enjoy the warm heat on your skin.  Although you should plan for tomorrow, you can’t forget that you are here today. What you do in the present impacts the years ahead. Yesterday, you planned for today, so enjoy it.  

 

Present

Focusing on the here and now comes from your ability to balance work and life and also to stop and center to give your attention to the moment. Whether you are on a date with your partner, watching a movie with your child, or at the office working, make sure that you are actually there- at that moment.

The more focus you give to your tasks at hand the quicker they will be done or the more you will enjoy them. If you are working on a project at work, work on it. Don’t work on social media or check emails. Rather, give your attention to the project at hand so that you complete it right the first time, and so that you complete it more quickly than if you were distracted 20 times over.

If you are with your partner at dinner, be with your partner at dinner. This is not the time to create a list of “to-do’s” for the week, argue about what they did wrong, or check your phone over and over again. It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to talk about, sit in silence before you give your attention to something else making your partner take second place.

 

Rule of Thumb

Continuously observe what is going on in the now (present) to see if you can find an opportunity to grow (future). Once you have highlighted the opportunity for growth look at previous successes and failures (past) to help you begin to move forward.

This way of thinking helps you to be mindful of the present and what possibilities and opportunities surround you each minute of the day, but also keeps you learning from the past while simultaneously moving forward.

Today, enjoy your past, present and future.

 

 

 

Dr. Jaime Kulaga is the author of Type "Superwoman: Finding the LIFE in Work-Life Balance - A Self-Searching Book for Women". She is the inspirational founder of the nationally known SuperWoman Workshops. Dr. Kulaga has been featured in Forbes, Glamour, Self and Prevention magazines as well as the national show Daytime for her expertise in Work-Life Balance.
http://www.mindfulrehab.com

 

 

 

Problem or Possibility?

                                                                 Problem or Possibility?

 

 

 

 

How many problems do you have? I am serious. Think about it. All the drama and chaos of the day, I bet you could list off a lot of negative issues.

Can you think of three problems that you have day in and day out? What about a problem you already faced today? Well, I am here to tell you that these problems are not problems at all, they are possibilities.

 

The reality is, whatever you see as a problem is your perception of the issue at hand. Your perception holds the same value as someone else who looks at the same issue and sees a possibility. You are not right that this issue is a problem, and, others are not right that this issue is a possibility. But, I suppose if you are going to look at something, why not look at it in a positive light just to make your day, week and month run a bit smoother.

Have you heard the saying, “neurons that fire together wire together?” Probably. But what does this mean? A man named Donald Hebb coined this cute rhyming slogan, but this statement actually holds more value than just being, “cute.” In fact, this statement means something powerful and true.

The more frequently you repeat a thought or action, you consequently strengthen the connection between a set of brain cells. Do you want to strengthen a negative or positive set of brain cells? That’s your choice.  “Neurons that fire together wire together” is one reason why when you start a bad habit, it is hard to break it. You have actually trained and strengthened your brain to behave a certain way.  

So, seeing issues from a position of “problem” day in and day out will only strengthen the connection of brain cells on the negative spectrum whereas seeing issues from a “possibilities” standpoint will strengthen the connection of brain cells on the positive spectrum.

 

Thinking from a possibilities standpoint will also open your mind to more opportunities. The more possibilities you notice in your life, the more happy of a person you will be. A happy person attracts more support systems to get through tough times, is more grateful for what they do have, and has the energy to tackle “problems.”  

A person who sees things from a “possibilities” standpoint just seems to have more in life- and, they do. They have more possibilities. So, what do you have, more problems or possibilities?

If your answer was “problems,” this week your challenge is to identify 1 “problem” that you currently have and see how you can change this into a possibility. Notice how changing your perception of this problem suddenly brings solutions, happiness, or both.  

This week become a person of possibilities and not problems.