Peace, Peace of Mind & A Piece of Cake

 

Peace, Peace of Mind & A Piece of Cake

There are three things you need in your life- Peace, Peace of Mind and a Piece of Cake. A little bit of each will help balance you and help you to live a more productive and fulfilled life.

Peace

Want to make your mind and body happy? Then get rid of any toxic anger or grudges you are holding on to. If you find yourself holding onto the past, now is the time to let go. The great thing about forgiveness is you don’t have to feel it, you just do it. And, you are doing it for yourself, no one else.

Sometimes we see ourselves as non-combative people because we walk away from fights, don’t yell and rarely get mad. However, don’t forget about the way you treat yourself. You may not be at war with other people, but reflect to make sure you are not at war with yourself. Peace encompasses peace with yourself, too.

 

Peace of Mind

The best things in life are free, and peace of mind constitutes as one of them. A great way to live healthy is to have peace of mind.  Peace of mind gives us happiness, energy and the ability to sleep at night.

Want more peace of mind? List out your morals and values and see if you are actually living them. Living untruthfully to others or yourself is painful and stressful. It requires the body to exalt a lot of energy and time, and can cause paranoia and confusion in your mind. The more things you can take off your plate that cause you internal pain, the more you will see your peace of mind go up.

 

Piece of Cake

While you are working on forgiveness, becoming a better person and doing everything else that you do in a day’s work, don’t forget to have that piece of cake. And I mean that literally and figuratively. Every once in a while, eat a slice of your favorite cake.

More importantly though, make sure that you have some fulfillment and fun in your life. Don’t forget all about your bucket listers, your dreams and doing the things that make you let go, laugh hysterically and make you feel like you are really living.

I understand we all “have” to do things for survival, like work and pay bills, but that is not all that life has to offer you. You do have time for the enjoyable things in life. You make time for work, make time for Life.  You can do it.

 

 

This week’s challenge is to reflect on how you can add a little more peace, peace of mind and a piece of cake to your life. Then, select one of the areas and begin adding that into your life.

Peace, Piece of Mind, Piece of Cake. Make sure your life has all three.

 

Tools To Make Your Self-Talk More Positive

 

Tools To Make Your Self-Talk More Positive

 

Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening. Lisa M Hayes

 

Who came with up with the slogan sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? They must have been a tree. Words hurt. In fact, sometimes words are more painful than sticks and stones. Words become more painful than sticks and stones when the hurtful words about us, come from us. Sticks and stones will break your bones, but negative self-talk will destroy you. Below are the Top 3 Tools for better Self-Talk.

 

#1: Rid of the “Have To,” “Must” and “Should” Talk.

Those things that “have to get done” are part of a sabotaging mind habit we created for ourselves. The reality is, a lot of what we do does not “have to” get done, or, if it does, it doesn’t “have to” happen right then and there.  Using words like “have,” “must,” “should” and “ought” are words that fill us with guilt and anxiety. Women despise feeling guilty, thus to avoid feelings of guilt, we satisfy the “haves” in our lives before we satisfy ourselves.

Women often do not deem themselves as a “have” or “must” in their own lives, thus everything else is worked on and fulfilled, except them. Despite popular belief, laundry does not HAVE to get done on the weekends. Weekend is a compound word. Week-end. Your week has ended. Use this time to walk away from the “should” and “haves” in your life, and do the things that you really would like to do in Life, like all those things you “missed out on” or “wished you could do.”

 

 

#2: Stop Telling Yourself Everything Has to be Perfect.

Perfection is subjective. That is why you should never try to be perfect for anyone or anything. If you spend your life trying to be perfect for someone else, you may find you are never perfect, for you.

Thinking that you have to be perfect at anything in life is not only a barrier to your goals and Life fulfillment, but you have directly set yourself up for failure. Don’t spend your life trying to be something that doesn’t exist. By striving for perfection, your mind and body will go one of two ways:

1.      Back down altogether. Your mind and body are smart. If you set a goal for something that is not attainable (such as trying to be perfect) why even try? Your mind and body won’t waste its time and energy trying to strive for something that is unachievable. So, the mind finds excuses and the body will support that.

2.       You will attempt your goals with perfection in mind, and then fail (because perfection does not exist). This pattern of attempting and failing lowers our self-esteem and sometimes our desire to set goals at all.

Instead of perfectionism, work toward self-actualization. Self-actualization means to develop your full potential. You are always in the mind-set of growing and developing yourself.  It is through striving for self-actualization that you will find Life, Mind and Body fulfillment.

 

 

#3: Recognize Life is Not Only Black and White

I get it, you don’t have time. Neither do I. But the reality is, we are both thinking in black and white right now. Working out doesn’t mean 60 minutes or 0; all or nothing. Working out to a ten minute app on your phone in the middle of the kitchen is still some form of exercise. It counts.

We often get stuck on thinking and doing things the same way for so long, that we forget there are so many other ways to make decisions or succeed. If you think you exhausted every possibility, you’re wrong. When you think differently, you open more doors for opportunity, doors you can’t even fathom right now because you just don’t know they even exist. Talk yourself out of the black and white, and into the shades of grey.

 

 

5 Tips for Feeling Healthy Inside and Out

 

5 Tips for Feeling Healthy Inside and Out

1.     Exercise is all Encompassing

 

The best way to feel happy, healthy and fit is to exercise. There is no substitute. Research shows that exercise will boost your mood, help you to sleep better and increase your self-esteem. This is partially due to the release of endorphins in your body as you workout. Endorphins decrease our sense of pain and increase our happiness and sense of pleasure.

 

If you want your mood to go up, increase your exercise. Working out doesn’t mean 60 minutes or 0; all or nothing. Working out to a ten minute app on your phone is till exercise. Start somewhere.

 

2.     Put the Good Stuff in Your Stomach

Ninety percent of serotonin is made in your gut. Serotonin is the chemical that makes you happy. That means, whatever you are putting into that tummy of yours, could impact your mood.

Do your best to stay away from frequenting antibiotics, processed foods and high sugar and carb diets. Of course, that chronic stress will get you every time. So, find ways to eliminate stress. Take walks, do yoga, rid of toxic people, eliminate negative self-talk and journal out your pain in order to help minimize some stressors.

 

3.     True Wealth is in Peace of Mind

 

The best things in life are free, and peace of mind constitutes as one of them. A great way to live healthy is to have peace of mind.  Peace of mind gives us happiness, energy and the ability to sleep at night.

 

Want more peace of mind? List out your morals and values and see if you are actually living them. Living untruthfully to others or yourself is painful and stressful. It requires the body to exalt a lot of energy and time, and can cause paranoia and confusion in your mind. The more things you can take off your plate that cause you internal pain, the more you will see your peace of mind go up.

 

 

4.     Comparing is Quite Contrary

 

Don’t compare yourself to others.  A great way to feel healthy is to stay in tune with your body and its needs. When we compare ourselves to others, we focus our time and energy on trying to be something that our body and mind might not actually want us to be. As you spend countless hours trying to be or do things like others, if your mind and body don’t agree, you will never achieve what you are trying to do. As we compare ourselves to others we are giving ourselves a very unrealistic and skewed perception of reality. This can decrease confidence and even lead to depressive symptoms.

 

Instead, work on becoming more self-aware. Reflect on your values, your goals, your current life situation and begin creating a realistic plan to get you where you are trying to go.

Stay healthy and happy by re-shifting your focus and attention that is on others, toward you and your desires.

 

 

5.     Dress Up, Mood Up

Dress up. Of course, there are days when you want to cuddle up in yoga pants and just relax, and quite frankly, I think you should do that. However, don’t let this dress style be your only style. I know that the day to day routine can be boring or nothing exciting might be going on, but dress up anyway.

 

More days than not during the week, make sure you put on a little makeup, paint your nails or style your hair. At least twice a week, wear something that makes you feel sexy or pretty. The way we dress and feel in our own skin does impact our confidence and our attitude about our day. There is nothing like a new sundress, a great hair day, or a little mascara and lipstick.

 

Dress up your body, dress up your mood.

 

 

 

 

If Christmas is in July, then August is New Year’s: Regaining Focus on your 2014 Goals

 

If Christmas is in July, then August is New Year’s: Regaining Focus on your 2014 Goals

By June, 50% of the population who set New Year’s Resolutions has already fell off the band wagon. Here we are approaching the middle of July. What the heck does that mean then? The Magic 8 ball says: “Outlook is not good” for those of us who set goals seven months ago.

I am here to tell you some good news though; there are still 5.5 months left in 2014. And, if Christmas is in July, then that means we can prep for New Years in August. So, this month, rethink about your 2014 goals. Design a plan for moving forward with your goals, and, within the next couple weeks, begin putting them back into action.

 

If your goal was to lose weight this year, start going to the gym this month, running outside, or eating healthier and not late at night.  Do you know how many pounds you can lose in almost six months? A lot. On the other hand, if you continue to give up that goal you initially set in January, do you know how many pounds you could gain in six months? Yikes!

If your goal was to push for that management position in your company, you still have almost six months to create an idea for a project that your company needs and begin to implement it. In six months you have the ability to really show management and leadership what you can do for your company.

The point is to not look back. Don’t look back at what you have not done, rather look at how much time you do still have left and how much is possible to complete in that amount of time. It is never too late to start something you began, especially if it was something you started only six months ago. Don’t let your mind trick you into thinking it is “too late” or that you can “reset your goals in January.”

Six months is a long time to steer yourself even more off track, or, on the other hand, really accomplish something in life.  Always look at what you do have and not at what you don’t have. You actually have a lot of time left this year to move yourself into success in many areas of your life.

 

This week’s challenge is to begin to refocus your New Year’s Resolutions and create a plan to begin implementing for New Year’s in August.

 

 

CELEBRATE MORE 3 DAY WEEKENDS OVER 2 DAYS

CELEBRATE MORE 3 DAY WEEKENDS OVER 2 DAYS

 

The 4^th of July is right around the corner. It might be a little bit more relaxed of a week as you slow to a long 3 day weekend. Briefly stated, the 4^th of July is the day that the US declared independence from the UK. Americans take this day to be proud, wave flags, and celebrate with families.

But every day that goes by, we are independent, we are free we are American. Work hard to not forget that. You can make your life a celebration with family every weekend or day off that you have. Many times we spend our days off running errands, cleaning, prepping for the following week, etc. Take this 4^th of July weekend, and at least 2 other weekends each month for the rest of the year, off, from errands and racing around.

 

 

Celebrate 2 day weekends with your family by grilling out, jumping in the pool or going to parks. Our race, race, rush, rush, world has instilled a habit in us to not stop. We take this habit right into the weekend, and don’t stop.

Instead of complaining on Sunday night that you wish every weekend was 3 days long, accept that it is rarely 3 days long and set it up so that you actually feel refreshed Monday morning.

You have to get to work Monday morning regardless, so why not be refreshed for it? Plus, the stronger and more positive and productive your Monday is, the better the rest of your work week will be.

 

Here are some tips on getting more relaxation and family time in on weekends that are not 3 days long:

1.       Break up your chores during the week. Sunday is traditionally laundry day, but it’s not the law. If you can do a few smaller loads during the week so that your entire Sunday is not a day of cleaning clothes, do that.

2.       Do grocery shopping after work on Friday. Yes, I know you want to relax after a long week. However, just push for 1 extra hour, and then grocery shopping won’t be on your mind all weekend, nor will you have to waste your Saturday or Sunday morning doing it.

3.       Get outside early. Instead of putzing around the house Saturday morning, only to then look at the clock and realize it is 1, putz around in the evening or late afternoon. Get outside first thing. Feeling the summer on your skin early in the morning will change your whole day. Planning an early beach or park day will get you up and out with family before putzing around consumes your day. Once you are out, chances are, you will be outside for the day.

4.       Don’t waste a Sunday. Sunday’s we often spend planning and organizing for the week. Then, we complain that tomorrow is Monday and “we never have time on the weekends.”  A day of planning and complaining is mentally and physically exhausting. Instead, spend Sunday for what is was meant to be, a day of rest and no work. Take some of your work day on Friday and plan for Monday. How often do you take breaks at work, gossip, check social media, etc.? Take back that time, and instead use it to plan for the following week.

 

This week is a good week to transition to a new schedule that frees up time on your weekend. Because you have 3 days off, try to edit your planning, laundry, grocery shopping and chore days this week. Then, this weekend, take all 3 days to just enjoy what life, freedom and independence has to offer you. The following week, try out your new found schedule again, so that your 2 day weekend is a bit more of a celebration.

Challenge: This week, think about 1 activity that feels like work that takes up a lot of your weekend time. Then, try to complete this work-like chore over your week instead of on your weekend. See if this makes your weekend more of a celebration!

 

Happy 4^th of July!

 

 

WHY THE HECK ARE YOU DOING THAT?

WHY THE HECK ARE YOU DOING THAT?

 

Why are you at work today? If the sole reason is because you need to pay rent and buy food, you are probably not completely satisfied with your work. In fact, you might be the office gossiper or the negative Nancy of the office.

Why do people leave a job that they are making 80K per year at with great benefits, only to branch out on their own, risking their families, income and sanity? Perhaps, they can’t stand working for someone else, they can’t stand not living in line with their values and/or they want to change the world.  

Most people think those who venture outside of societies norms are crazy or are setting themselves up for failure. But whether you are making a leap in your business or personal life, you have to realize that doing things the same way day in and day out is not only boring, but that is the real risk.

 

I am not saying to quit your job today, or to up and move to your dream tropical island in the Caribbean, but after a calculated risk and research about what you are doing, it might be worth it.

But why is there such a risk in leaving a job or up and moving to that Island?

People don’t always know why they are doing what they are doing. You might know what you are doing and how you are going to do it, but you don’t know why you are doing it. Once you can identify the why, then you can determine if the leap is the right thing to do.

Creating a plan to make a leap isn’t the most important aspect to changing something, it is actually determining the why. Why isn’t the plan. The plan is in the what and how of what you are about to do, the why will stem from your values and beliefs.

 

In business, the theory is that if you want to be successful, you have to know why you are doing something, and it can’t be, “because I need money.” Money is a result, it is not a why. A why for a business might be “My dream is to reduce the stress in the American household, so that families can have more opportunities to enjoy each other.” This doesn’t say much about what I do or how I do it, but it is why I do what I do. Then, people who believe in my belief systems and values will support what it is I sell, because they too, personally, believe in the why. This leads to success. If all I have is a what and a how for my business, I am setting myself up for failure. Everyone has a plan, not everyone has a why. This is the reason that those with a why are often successful.

When it comes to your personal life, you have to know why you are doing something, too. If you are chasing an end result like money, fame or pleasure, you might be acting outside of your beliefs and find that you are never really feeling that “success” feeling.  Besides, an end result, like money, is an outcome, not a why.

 

If you are doing something to be spiteful, hurtful, or vengeful, it might not be a good idea to make that leap in your personal life. Stop working to create only a plan, and first define why you are doing something, then work your way out from there. If you want to make a major life change so that you can regain a positive and healthy mindset, you are on the right track. Beginning something with a negative why can result in a personal failure, whereas beginning something with a positive why that follows your belief systems generates more of a chance of success.

 

This week’s challenge is to identify why you are doing what you are doing in business and your personal life.

Reflection and Tip: Are there any challenges, risks or leaps you want to take in the near future? Before you take the leap make sure that you have a strong why behind what you are about to do.

 

 

 

 

Authenticity, Core Values and Balance

 

Authenticity, Core Values and Balance

 

Authentic means to be real.  The more authentic you are with yourself, the more fulfillment you feel in life. Not being true to yourself or others keeps you at a consistent imbalance. Living a lie takes energy, time and emotion. In the case where you are not being authentic to yourself, you may find that you are taking on too many life roles and acting like you can manage them. You may be pushing down pain but fronting a smile every day. You may engage in activities that you don’t like in order to gain acceptance or likability. You may be hiding issues regarding hurt, money or love with a partner. Living untruthfully to your values or beliefs systems will put the mind and body out of balance. The mind knows what is right, but the body is not acting accordingly.

 

In the healing and balancing process, authenticity is most important. To gain more self-awareness, you have to know the real you. You have to be open to identifying your faults and what you want to improve on. You have to identify your biases, your grudges and weak spots. The more you are in tune with your core values and imperfections, the more you can identify what is off and how you can get back into balance.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you identify values and note imbalances. Be sure to be authentic as you answer the following:

1.       What are my top 5 core values?

2.       What am I doing in life that I am not happy with? Why?

3.       How do the activities that I am doing in life that I am not happy with out of line with my core values?

4.       How can I stop engaging in these activities or how can I make them in line with my values?

5.       What areas of my life am I living most authentically?

6.       Do I hold grudges?

7.       Can I be vengeful?

8.       To whom can I give more support to?

9.       When do I tend to give up my control?  

10.   What do I try to control that I can’t? How/When can I stop?

 

 

This week’s challenge is to answer the above questions. Be authentic and real about your responses so you can see exactly where you are not in line with your core values. As you identify your deficits note the direction you want to start moving in. Then, begin creating a plan to get back in line with your values.